Give me the Ear of an Elephant
How good are you at listening?
I don’t mean music. Or to commentary of the game.
I mean listening to what is being said.
What’s being said to your face.
Welcome to Animal Instincts where we discover wisdom in the natural world and apply it to work, rest, leadership, and daily life.
Elephants have one of the most remarkable hearing systems among land animals.
Armed with an ability to create low frequency “rumbles”—below 20Hz so humans can only occasionally feel them—elephants feel them too but also hear the rumbles through their large ears. Being low frequencies, the sound waves will travel long distances and still be easily detected.
The upshot of this is that an elephant can communicate to other elephants several kilometres away, even when they don’t see each other. They might ask where a family member is, or in which direction they are heading?
Meanwhile, most humans standing nearby miss the conversation—or hear only a faint rumble.
Or nothing at all.
I have sometimes interacted with someone in conversation and heard nothing at all.
It might have been the other person’s fault, or the environment around me.
I remember once talking to a lady in a crowded room and her voice was so soft, I literally couldn’t hear anything coming out of her mouth. I kept saying “Pardon!”, “sorry, I can’t hear you” but she felt no need to speak any louder.
On the other hand, I have sometimes not heard a person because I have not been listening.
One time, I was distracted during a conversation (and struggling to find interest in the topic being discussed, if I am honest), when I became aware that the person had become silent.
And she was staring at me.
Apparently, a question had been thrown in my direction, and she was expecting an answer.
Elephant rumbles contain some audible components so that it is possible for humans to detect a call if they know what they are listening for.
Perhaps if we value the voices of others, there are ways to actively listen to them, when other voices or sounds vie for our attention.
So, here are my 8 suggestions for giving the best of your attention to somebody when you may least feel like it.
My 8-point listening guide:
1. Give the speaker your full attention: focus on what the person is saying before planning your response.
2. It might help to ask questions: Assess your understanding of what is being shared by posing a few questions for clarification.
3. Having said that, don’t interrogate: Let your questions show them that you are interested.
4. Enjoy the achievement of understanding what another human has articulated. Because it is not always easy!
5. Be kind—avoid interrupting: Let people finish their thoughts before responding
6. Maintain appropriate eye contact: Don’t stare them out! But eye contact signals attention and engagement
7. Pay attention to nonverbal cues: Notice facial expressions, tone of voice, posture, and emotions, not just words.
8. Paraphrase what you've heard: Summarize the main points in your own words to check understanding. Sometimes I say something back like, “Can I just check my understanding by saying back what I think you have told me?”
Value the voices of others and they will value yours.
Who knows? Maybe what that person wants to share, is the very thing you need to hear.
Looking for more practical ways to apply ideas like these?
Explore the Animal Instincts guided journals and resources.
Comments